Hemophilia and Dating

Q. Is it all right for me to date if I have hemophilia?

A. Absolutely! Dating is a normal part of growing up and having hemophilia shouldn't keep you from enjoying the same relationships your friends do.

Q. Should I tell my date that I have hemophilia?

A. Telling anyone that you have hemophilia can be difficult, and it can be particularly hard to be open about it with someone you don't know very well. It's natural to be scared that your date might react negatively, but great relationships are based on truth and honesty. Ask yourself if you would like your date to tell you about something that was such an important part of their life. Ultimately, only you can decide whether—and when—you should tell the people you date.

Also remember that if you have HIV, hepatitis B and C or other sexually transmitted diseases, your partner has a right to know before you have any kind of sexual relationship.

You might want to think about giving them some time to get to know you before you tell them. This will allow them to see that you are capable of living as full a life as anyone else provided you have access to appropriate treatment. But, remember, you have everything to gain from being honest about it when you feel the time is right.

Q. How and what should I tell them?

A. Telling your date that you have hemophilia isn't easy, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Having pamphlets, articles or a hotline phone number available may make the conversation easier for both of you. If you're nervous ahead of time, ask a friend or someone from a local support group for advice. When you tell your date that you have hemophilia you have a great opportunity to reassure them. You can explain that the condition is not contagious, and that you will live a long and happy life. While they may be scared at first, their greatest concern is likely to be for your well-being.

Q. What if they react badly?

A. Some people might. They might be frightened or confused. You can't control other people's reactions, only your own. Remember, though, that dating is a learning process; lots of people who date don't pursue a relationship for any number of reasons (you may be too short, or too tall, or have brown eyes, or blue!). If your date knows you and likes you, they will still like you when they find out you have hemophilia. Be confident and you'll be surprised how well people will react to you.