Leaving the Nest

Ready to fly away into the world on your own? Here’s what you need to know first.

Few things are more exciting—or nerve-racking—than cutting the cord and striking out on your own for the first time. It’s a whole new world, usually devoid of curfews, rules and the structure you’ve grown accustomed to up until this point. Sounds fun, right? It is—but just like Spider-Man learned, with great power comes great responsibility.

And the responsible thing to do is make sure you’ve got everything set before you make the big move. You can’t plan everything, but build yourself a foundation of the basics and you’ll be good to go. Here’s a checklist to get you started:

Reassure your parents. Having a child leave the nest is tough for any parent. Sure, they’re happy to see you growing up and becoming independent, but they’ve gotten pretty used to having you around for the past 18 years or so, and that’s a tough transition to make. Plus, they worry. They’re old pros at it. And if you have a bleeding disorder, they might be concerned about how you’ll fare on your own and if you’ll be compliant with treatment.

Anne Lowish, a nurse with MedPro Rx, a provider of specialized pharmacy services, recommends showing your parents that you’ve got it under control by having a conversation with them about what steps you know you need to take to be safe, carrying an emergency card in your wallet, and confirming that you’ll bring your factor along on trips in case you have a bleed.

Keeping the lines of communication open is a good thing for everyone, and your parents will feel more secure knowing you’re aware of the issues you’ll face.

Figure out your finances. Money is an adulthood issue that never goes away, so get used to dealing with it now. If you’re going off to college, have you secured the loans and grants you may need to pay for school? Will you get a job on campus? How will you pay for expenses like groceries and books?

If you’re joining the work force and getting your own place, do you have a salary that will allow you to make ends meet? If you’ll have roommates, can you count on them to pay their portion of the rent and take care of your new home?

And if you do take a part-time job while you’re studying, consider its impact on your body and health. The last thing you want is to have to have time off school because you have had a bleed. You might also want to let your employer know about your hemophilia if you feel comfortable doing so.

A little planning goes a long way, so ask these questions now before you take the plunge. Moving out and then suddenly realizing you don’t have the means to support your new lifestyle might get you right back where you started—in your parents’ house.

Ensure you’re insured. If you live somewhere like the U.S. that does not have government-provided healthcare, it’s incredibly important that you have health insurance. Hemophilia treatment is expensive—in the neighborhood of $60,000 to $150,000 (USD) a year—so you can’t afford to be uninsured. If you’re going to lose coverage under your parents’ plan, you need to look into alternative options. Avoid letting your coverage lapse under any circumstance, as this will mean you’ll be subject to a waiting period before pre-existing conditions are covered under the new plan. Those who are working may be able to get coverage through an employer, and full-time students are usually still taken care of under their parents’ plan.

Ask for help when needed. “Parents usually have taken on [the role of] caregiver and been the ones who approached teachers, coaches, bus drivers; who developed a plan with the school nurse; who communicated with the local hemophilia treatment center,” says Lowish. “As a child goes out, he has to be able to do these things for himself, and he needs to decide who he will tell.”

You’ll now be the one in charge of all those little things that were probably taken care of for you. The first thing to do if you’re at college is make sure the campus health clinic knows you’re there and can assist you when it comes to getting factor shipments and storing supplies. If your HTC has changed, you’ll want to have your medical records transferred and get in touch with the new center.

Since a bleed could cause you to miss class or interfere with completing an assignment on time, don’t be afraid to talk to your professors and explain your situation. As long as you don’t use medical reasons as a scapegoat, profs will want to help you succeed in their class. You should tell a few trusted others as well—perhaps your resident adviser, a neighbor, a co-worker or a roommate. That way you’ll have someone to count on in case of emergency.

Take care of your health. Without Mom to nag you to eat your vegetables, it’s more than a little tempting to eat pizza five times a week. But being healthy is important for everyone—and will help your body better deal with injuries—so eat right, get exercise, keep your stress levels in check and try to limit the all-nighters. Pizza is delicious, but it’s not worth packing on the pounds or compromising your fitness level.

Learn to self-infuse. Maybe your parents have infused for you in the past, but if you learn how, you’ll save yourself a lot of time, hassle and pain. “If you have a bleed, you need to be able to stop it right there and treat it,” Lowish says. That way, you can avoid spending hours in the hospital waiting for a doctor. The sooner you’re treated, the better, and being self-sufficient in this regard can be a lifesaver.

You can also help yourself by making sure that you’ve ordered factor on your own from your HTC before you leave home. Find out what the processing time is for orders, as well as what to do in an emergency. And if your factor is delivered to your home, don’t forget to change your address with the delivery company as well as the HTC.

Remember that although your bleeding disorder may make living on your own a little more challenging, this is something you can deal with. “I always call hemophilia an inconvenience, but it’s a manageable inconvenience,” Lowish says. With good preparation, and with the help of your local HTC, nothing can stand between you and the thrill of first-time independence.