High Anxiety: Leaving Home Can Be Exciting (and Scary)

Admit it! You’re tired of the same old, same old, and you’ve been secretly counting down the days, the months, and perhaps even the years until you can finally leave the nest. And while you may be ready to try soaring on your own right now, there’s a part of you that wonders if your wings can really keep you in the air, or if true freedom is overrated.

Even something as exciting as going away to college or moving out of the family home can cause a certain level of anxiety. The good news is, this is completely normal.

Like many young adults, this may be the first time you’ve lived away from home and are not seeing loved ones every day. Couple these feelings with additional responsibilities that could range from college classes or a job to making new friends, and it’s no wonder it’s a little unsettling.

When you add hemophilia into the mix, the stakes can get higher. “In addition to the normal struggles of becoming independent, young adults with hemophilia also have to worry about their medical condition,” says Sheela Raja, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and assistant professor in the Colleges of Dentistry and Medicine at the University of Illinois in Chicago, Illinois.

The first step towards making a smooth transition is to acknowledge the anxiety. A shift in routine can be difficult for anyone, and this is especially true for people with chronic illnesses.

Fortunately there are a number of things you can do to in advance to prepare for the changes to come.

• Keep the lines of communication open: “One of the most important things young adults can do is to keep talking to their parents about their concerns,” says Dr. Raja. “When you have a chronic medical condition, it’s perfectly normal to need support—including that of your parents.”

• Create a health plan of action before you go (your parents and/or medical team can help). If you self-infuse, figure out the system you will use to remember the schedule and where you will store the factor. Make sure you know where the nearest hospital is and how you would get there.

• Find a new Hemophilia Treatment Center (HTC) near you: If you’re going far away from home, make sure you get everything in place before you actually move, including making sure your records are transferred. If possible, try to visit the new HTC before you have a health problem.

• Practice being “independent” while still at home: Do your own laundry. Cook some meals. Order your own medications. Knowing you have these necessary skills can really help ease your anxiety.

• Make sure you have everything you need: This not only includes clothes, sheets, and towels, but also bandages and other first aid supplies, the contact information for the HTC plus local friends who could help in an emergency, insurance information and a Medic Alert bracelet.

• Do your homework: If you don’t know everything you need to about your hemophilia already, now is the time to learn. Be able to answer questions like what your factor deficiency is, what brand of factor you use and in what amount, if you have any allergies, what your bleed history is, etc.

• Be prepared: In addition to keeping first aid supplies on hand in your dorm room or apartment, consider packing a small kit to carry with you in your bag or backpack.

• Do a trial run, if possible: Often, anxiety comes from the unknown, so find out as much as you can before the actual move. If you’re going to college, see if there’s a short summer orientation session you can attend to learn your way around the campus, see the dorms, etc.

• Allow extra time in your schedule: If you’re particularly worried, see if you and your parents can arrive a few days early. Together, you can explore the new area, figure out where everything is and do last minute shopping.

• This isn’t goodbye forever: Making plans for a visit home can give you peace of mind. Also, take advantage of the many new ways you can stay in touch, from cell phones and texting to videoconferencing via Skype or FaceTime on your iPhone or iPad. Your family will never be more than just a few clicks away.

• Understand that anxiety isn’t necessarily a bad thing: “A mild level of anxiety and concern actually keeps you involved and prepared for potentially difficult situations,” says Dr. Raja.

• Make a list of your concerns: Look at each one individually and figure out what you can do to address it. Often, breaking it down can make everything feel much more manageable.

• Ask for help if you need it: If the anxiety is overwhelming, find a counselor to talk to (many colleges even have a counseling center).

There’s no doubt going from home to living on your own can be a major transition, but you can make it less stressful by taking things slowly, staying in touch with your family and friends, and knowing that the passage of time will improve your confidence and reduce anxiety. Before you know it you’ll be up, up and away!